Whole Again
by EvilPoutOfDoom
Summary: She seemed to take it fairly well but what was really going through Ginny's head when Harry told her they couldn't keep seeing each other and how will she react? Warning, includes Suicide. not descriptive Inspired by a poem my friend Prof. M wrote.


AN: The poem used in this fic was written by Prof. M, so please go and read her fics. She made me promise to say this if I used her poem, so please, please read them, or she may chop off my head.

Ginny stopped crying as the Centaurs arrows soared through the air and the merepeople sank down into the lake. She looked at Harry and saw sadness, but also a grim determination in his eyes. She knew what he was about to do. She didn't like it, but she understood.

"Ginny, listen…" he said quietly. "I can't be involved with you any more. We've got to stop seeing each other. We can't be together." He looked like it pained him to say what he just had.

It was just as she had suspected, he thought they should break up. She knew it was probably for the best, but still. "It's for some stupid, noble reason, isn't it?" Ginny said, trying to smile and not let her heartbreak show.

"It's been like…like something out of someone else's life, these last few weeks with you, but I can't…we can't…I've got things to do alone now."

_I will not cry _Ginny told herself as he continued. "Voldemort uses people his enemies ate close to. He's already used you as bait once, and that was just because you're my best friend's sister. Think how much danger you'll be in if we keep this up. He'll know, he'll find out. He'll try and get to me through you."

"What if I don't care?" Ginny said fiercely.

"I care, how do you think I'd feel if this was your funeral…and it was my fault…"

It was too much for her. She loved him and had for so long and when she finally got his attention he wanted to break up with her so that she wouldn't be a target for Voldemort. She looked out over the lake. "I never really gave up on you," she said softly. "Not really. I always hoped…Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more – myself."

"Smart girl, that Hermione," said Harry, smiling slightly. "I just wish I'd asked you sooner. We could've had ages…months…years maybe…"

"But you've been too busy saving the wizarding world," Ginny said with a slightly bitter laugh. "Well…I can't say I'm surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn't be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that's why I like you so much."

_So many thoughts ran through my head,_

_Pain and anger and tears were shed._

_The love, the life that I once had,_

_Are only memories, some good some bad._

Looking back on that moment a few days later Ginny began to cry the tears that she hadn't allowed herself to cry at the time. She feared that Harry would die before she could tell him the depth of her feelings for him. I wasn't fair. She had loved him since she had heard stories of the Boy-Who-Lived as a child, then she had seen him when he got on the train to Hogwarts.

He might not have been tall dark and handsome, but his eyes had a look of honesty and strength that most people twice his age could never have achieved. He may have been skinny and wearing baggy clothes, thick plastic glasses on his nose and unruly hair, but he was still Ginny's hero.

It was defiantly the best moment of her life, celebrating her own capture of the snitch and then Harry bursting through the portrait hole, running to him and throwing her arms around him. Then, in front of the whole common room, he had kissed her. And Ron didn't object, everyone thought they were a perfect couple. Ginny had also believed that, and had thought that they would be together forever, they were so alike.

Ginny also remembered when she was dragged down to the Chamber of Secrets by the memory of Tom Riddle. She was so scared and knew she was going to die, and had fainted after a while. She could feel the life draining out of her, then all of a sudden everything was coming back and Harry Potter was at the other end of the chamber, holding the diary and a sword, standing over a dead Basilisk. Then a Phoenix came and carried them up the tunnel and into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. It was one of the most amazing things she had ever seen in her life. Harry Potter, her hero, had saved her.

_You walked away, you left me there,_

_Damaged and broken and in despair._

_My heart did break that very day,_

_I couldn't speak, I couldn't say._

Ginny wished she could have told him how much he meant to her, how deep her feelings were for him. She wanted to say how hurt she was that he dad left her, how angry she was because he didn't think she could defend herself.

Without Harry there, her life was empty. Before there had always been a chance that he would notice her, want to go out with her, but now she knew that while Voldemort was around they could never be together. What if Harry never managed to defeat Voldemort? What if Voldemort killed Harry before she had her say?

If only there were a way that Ginny wouldn't have to worry about life and death. With that thought Ginny had her answer. A way to be sure that one day her and Harry could have forever together.

But what of her family? They would understand, wouldn't they? They wouldn't think any less of her. Ginny hoped they knew it was for the best.

_Four days ago I took my life._

_I couldn't stand to live more days,_

_To have my friends ask if I was ok._

_They wouldn't know, or understand,_

_Just how distraught and depressed I am._

Ginny thought about her mother, who was always there for her. She lover her youngest child and only daughter, it was true, maybe too much so, yet having her inquire if she was alright made Ginny even more depressed. Her father tried to look out for his little girl and always searched for other things to interest her, but even strange muggle appliances could not amuse her, they were not what she wanted, needed, craved.

Her brothers also tried to help. With good advice, funny jokes and harmless pranks, they tried to occupy her. Ginny only wanted to hear the laughter of one person. The one person who could help her wasn't to be found.

Sure they knew that Ginny was sad, they knew that Ginny was hurt, but they didn't know that he was her lifeblood, her reason for living, her whole world. How could she live without meaning, how could she breathe without air. Ginny knew that life without Harry wasn't really living at all. There was no point, no further path to travel. Yet there was an end.

_So I took my life to prove to them,_

_Just how much I needed him._

_Do not cry, don't be sad,_

_I'm in a better place, be glad._

Maybe it wouldn't be long until Harry followed her. In the meantime she would watch over him and live, really live, like she had for these few weeks of bliss with the love of her life.

Ginny would have a new life, be a new person. She could be free of everything bad and just remember the good things from her life. She could no longer be hurt and her world would right itself. Even if it took a lifetime for Harry to follow it wouldn't matter, she would wait. Each fond memory, each precious kiss would be remembered forever. Albus Dumbledore once said "To the well organised mind death is but the next great adventure." So maybe to someone like Ginny, death would be putting the pieces back together again.

_A place where I cannot be hurt,_

_A place where all the hate and pain leave me,_

_And I become whole again._

_Fin_

AN: Thank you for reading my first fic and please review, I want to know what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome. I have some more fics that I'm writing at the moment, although it might be a while before I submit them, as I want to finish them first.


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